Same sex marriage repercussions

Interesting night. I stopped by our one and only local bar for a beer. One of the regulars started talking to me. He asked, "Where's you're buddy?"


I answered he was home, asleep, but Jack (let's call him that) started apologizing for calling Keith a "buddy". He struggled with finding a term to call him.

I cut him off and asked, "Did you know Keith and I were together when we first met you here six years ago?"

Jack answered, "Yes."

"So now we can legally marry, what's the problem?"

Jack pointed across the bar and said, "See the blond in the black sweatshirt? That's my wife. If I wanted to point you and Keith out, what would I say? That's husband and husband? Partners? Spouses?"

"What does it matter? Point us out in anyway you want."

"You're good guys. I mean, we shared burgers on the grill at your house after the bar closed. I just don't know what to say without offending you."

"You knew Keith and I were together in that way when we first met you, right?"

"Yes."

"What's this difference now? Because we can legally marry, that somehow changes things?"

"No, I just don't want to offend you and Keith."

"Then be Jack, the Jack we've known for the last six years."

We talked some more and Jack was astounded by the fact that Keith and I have been together for the last twelve years.

"Wow, that's a long time. I didn't think guys like you could stay together like that."

"How long have you been with your wife?"

"Twenty-four years."

"Why that long? You're standing here, drunk off your feet talking to me, and she's across the bar as if she doesn't know you. What is it that you and her love each other so much that you committed to each other for the last twenty-four years?"

Jack looked at me through his drunk eyes, but with some thought. "Love is what it is and we can't control it."

"And, Jack, That's what Keith and I have no matter what anyone else calls it."

Jack bought me another beer and he just couldn't let the topic go. Ahh, the life of a drunk. So me being me excused myself for a minute and walked to the other side of the bar where Jack's wife sat.

"Would you mind if I picked your husband up tonight?"

"Oh Hell, yeah. Take him home and keep him."

I went back to Jack and told him his wife didn't mind if I I picked him up.

"Really? That don't sound right."

Jack stumbled over to talk to his wife. While he talked to his wife, I finished my beer and went to the mens room. When I came out, Jack and his wife were gone. Considering they left an hour and a half before last call, I reckon Jack quickly learned to appreciate, and love, his wife even more.

So, if Keith and I do get married, which we problay won't because he ain't asked me yet, how would we refer to each other? Spouse is good, but too generic and emotionally detached. Husband is too sexist because the word implies a wife. Partner is good if we were cowboys or venturing into a business together. Other half sounds schizophrenic. Significant other lacks the deep emotional bond.

Dangit, Keith and I can't get married because there's no meaningful word to describe our relationship. Anybody got any ideas of a new word to describe two married guys?

© 2012
Mark Darien
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