We've said it before in prior posts, but it's worth reiterating. When Keith and I moved here, we were scared to death of what the reaction of the local people would be. We held the stereotype that our neighbors would be dumb, macho rednecks living a mentatility of fifty years ago. If they knew we were gay, they would vandalize our home with nasty spray paint, if they didn't burn it down first, and for a Saturday night of fun, they'd beat us up and leave us in the marsh for dead.
Yeah, I know. What extreme thinking. Unfortunately, both Keith and I have known gay people who suffered such violence for no other reason than they were gay. We won't bore you with our stories, but you can see our fears of moving here weren't without basis.
For almost the first year we were here, we said nothing. When we were at Carolyn's Stonehouse, a couple of people would hint around about us being gay to see how we would respond. We simply blew them off without admitting we were a couple, nor denying it. Everyone knew we were a couple and bent over backwards to make us feel welcomed and accepted in the community. It became apparent to us we had to be honest and forthcoming with them.
The people down here in Toddville shattered our stereotype of the local people here and on Delmarva. They were very much with the times and accepting. Sure, a couple of people had a problem with the gay couple who moved in. We could see their expressions when we walked into Mr. Pritchett's store or Carolyn's Stonehouse. But no one gave us a hard time.
After six years of going around town up in the high country to do our shopping, employees of the Food Lion, Royal Farms, Lowe's, Snow's Turn, and a couple of the restaurants we eat at fairly regularly have figured out we must be a couple. We don't hold hands or kiss in public like a straight couple will do, but I reckon they know two guys don't hang around with each other as much as we do for as long as we have. They figure we must be more than friends. It's something we know they know, especially if one of us shows up without the other and the waitress or cashier will ask, "Where's your partner?"
We get a real charge out of the talking heads on TV or the radio who complain about the growing acceptance of gay people. "Why do they have to go around telling everyone they're gay?" they'll rhetorically ask.
Well, we told no one and still tell no one, yet everyone knows. So we have to rhetorically ask, "Why the Hell do you care?"
Back to last week's meeting with Derek McCoy, president of the Maryland Family Alliance. Let's not gloss this one over. Anytime there's an organization with the word, family, in its name and the organization's purpose is to promote strong healthy families based on Christian values, you can be guaranteed it's members simply hate gay people. Derek McCoy and the Maryland Family Alliance is no exception.
Obviously, we take exception to Derek McCoy and the Maryland Families Alliance's comments and stance on the issue of same sex marriage. Keith and I will be starting our twelth year together. So far, we have stayed together almost twice as long as about half of the legally married couples who tied the knot when we first committed to each other. Derek McCoy, if you and your organization are about promoting strong families, why were those couples allowed to marry, only to bail ship, but we aren't allowed to marry?
At the time we got together, Keith's daughter was nine-years-old. Because we couldn't get married, I couldn't add his daughter to my health insurance plan. As you push for legislation to make families stronger,do you consider the sons and daughters of gay people as being not as important as the children of straight people?
People in prison, people on the sex offenders list, people with a history of spousal abuse, and people with a history of child abuse or neglect can all legally get married. In your effort to create a positive environment to raise strong families, are you saying all these people are good role models, but gay people aren't?
Alcoholics and drug addicts can legally marry. Are you saying they're good role models for a strong family unit, but gay people aren't?
Almost half the marriages in this country end in divorce. Aside from trying to prevent same sex couples from marrying, what are you doing to prevent couples, who don't understand the meaning of "Until death do us part", from marrying or are you saying that a straight marriage ending in divorce is better than a life long marriage between a same sex couple?
In 1967, the Supreme Court ruled a marriage between two people is a basic, civil right. Since when did you and your organization decide the people should get to vote on which civil rights we'll let people have?
Much to Keith's chagrain, I sort of hope Maryland does take the issue of same sex marriage to the people to vote on. Whether it will pass or not is beside the point for me. If you really want to start letting people vote on which civil rights we allow to which groups of people, I have a whole list of referendums to start flooding our state legislature with. I guarantee you nor anyone affiliated with your organization will like any of them.
Oh wait. Up until about fifty years ago, we did vote on which civil rights people were or were not entitled to. It wasn't a pretty picture, was it?
For once, we would like to see someone from any homophobic organization out there, including the Maryland Families Alliance, publically answer any, preferably all, of the questions we posed above. For the casual reader of Toddville Tidewaters, we ask you ponder the questions we posed for yourself.
© 2012
Mark Darien
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